Known as the ‘Queen Bee of Coaching’ and ‘UK’s Number One Life Coach’, best-selling author Fiona Harrold is credited with bringing life coaching to a mass audience in this country. She spoke to Marie-Louise Cook about growing up in Northern Ireland, her plans and her brand of ‘hands-on’ coaching.
Personal Success: Now about coaching… The Coaching Academy view is that coaches should not give direction – no input, no advice, no stories – so that the client has the opportunity to come up with their own solution. You seem to be at the other end of that spectrum – you like to direct your clients.
Fiona Harrold: ‘I don’t think I direct them, no. People come to me for more than a space in which they can hear themselves think. I think they are coming for some input and some feedback and some insight.
‘If someone’s in a particular situation, the fact that they are in it means that they are not perhaps going to see all the possibilities. If they’re quite stressed… if they’re feeling cornered then they’re really going to be quite limited in their perspective. They need somebody to say, “Okay, let me tell you what I see. I’m not as stressed as you are. I’m not emotionally involved. Let me tell you: you have options. You have the three options that you’ve just talked about. Here are another five.”
I’m not saying, “Look, this is the best option.” I’m saying, “We’ve got eight options here. You thought you had three. You’ve got eight.” It’s probably a bit more hands-on than a typical coach but it is what my clients come to me for.
‘They want that approach because it makes them feel like I actually care. Clients would come and say, “I have seen someone and I just didn’t get the feeling that he or she was in there with me.” It’s probably their interpretation of that approach but it matters that you are able to show that what’s going on in their life - their situation, their challenges, their choices and decisions - matters to you too. I wouldn’t say, “Look this is really the best thing to do.”’
So, it’s more that you have the big picture of whatever situation they are in?
Fiona Harrold: ‘Yes. It’s also that I’ve worked very much in the whole mental approach which is the training I got from my mentor – the whole challenging, choosing and altering your belief system because that’s going to shape your life, that’s going to shape your choices and shape what you believe is possible. I’m very much working with someone’s mental approach, and very much about putting my foot in the door of their mind and keeping it there to open them to bigger possibilities. A client of mine wrote a nice little piece in the Financial Times and she said, “Whatever you do, go and see Fiona Harrold. Take your dreams to her and chances are, you’ll leave thinking, ‘You know what? That dream is too small!’
What a fantastic testimonial!
Fiona Harrold: ‘That’s certainly what I do. I challenge their belief system. I’m enhancing or upgrading their belief system and suddenly they see that ‘X’ is possible and ‘Y’ is possible and the whole damned thing is possible. So, I’m broadening their horizons as to what is possible.
‘Really, what do people go to a coach for? They go to a coach to make their life ideal in whatever way that looks. You’re giving them that moral support. So I don’t think it’s good to be too hands-off because it could look like actually, you’re not that involved. It’s important that people feel they have that support behind them. That’s what’s going to make a big difference to them.’
How did you become a coach?
Fiona Harrold: ‘Oh, Lord. I think I probably evolved into it. My Dad was a self-improvement fanatic – he’d left school at 14 but he was really into self-improvement and self-education. He worked as a door-to-door salesman for the Hoover Company and they used to send him on Dale Carnegie courses too. He read all these great American motivational writers so I grew up with the likes of Dale Carnegie, Norman Vincent Peale, and W. Clement Stone in the background. I used to travel around the countryside with him when he was doing all his selling and listen to his tapes. That was probably my first introduction to that approach to life: that it’s all down to you and your mind is the most powerful weapon that you have.
‘I came to London after doing a degree in English and Politics and I didn’t want to go straight into a career because I didn’t really feel passionately pulled to one. I got very involved in politics and I experimented with different ways to live really.
‘Eventually, I decided it was time for me to rethink my take on life because I’d become a little bit cynical and my whole lifestyle had become a little bit of a struggle. I was always focusing on things that weren’t great, that needed improving. I’d been living at Greenham Common [the women’s peace camp]; I’d been campaigning to support the Miner’s Strike in 1984-1985; and I’d joined a co-operative that ran a health food shop, a bookshop, and a café. I worked on a community newspaper called Pavement and was always investigating shady dealings and putting wrongs to right. After a couple of years of that, I think I got terribly, terribly ground down and I really wanted to change my life.
‘I did some therapy but it didn’t feel like it was taking me forward so I looked around and I found Fiona Shaw (not the actress) in London. She called herself a “Self-Esteem Consultant”. I went to her as a client. Eventually she said, “You know I reckon you’d be awfully good at this” and I became her full-time apprentice.
‘At the same time I was apprenticed to her, I was soaking up everything I could find on personal development and human potential. I did the big American weekend groups like Loving Relationships Training (LRT) and The Forum.
‘I was approached in 1998-99 by publishers Hodder and Stoughton. I think they’d seen something in The Daily Telegraph where I’d coached a journalist. They were becoming aware of this thing called ‘coaching’ and they said, “You seem to be a coach.”
‘I said, “I suppose I am.” I had called myself a “Self-Esteem Consultant”.
They said, “Would you like to write a book about the work that you do with people and how it’s different from therapy?”
“Sure I will, that sounds great!”
‘That book was Be Your Own Life Coach, which came out in 2000. That changed everything and I had to become much more focussed. I was getting enquiries from all around the country and beyond, which I couldn’t possibly fulfil. People were asking for ongoing support and saying the book was great but asking what else could they do. That really galvanised me into setting up the website, bringing on other coaches I liked and trusted and really upgrading it all into a business.’
For coaches who wanted to follow your example, what would you recommend?
Fiona Harrold: ‘Oh my Lord! I currently mentor coaches who want to get their practice off the ground and I have noticed many tend to ignore what they have done before, almost as if they can’t bear to acknowledge their lives before coaching but with their previous experience and their coaching skills, they could create a unique niche and become very distinct coaches.
‘I think that it really helps to have a sense of purpose and conviction behind what you do. I think that will certainly set you apart from the average coach. I get people who come to me who say, “Oh, I’ve had a coach before but you’re really quite different.”
‘I don’t think you should do it just for the money. You have to ask yourself, “If I didn’t need to make any money ever again, would I still do this?” If the answer isn’t a resounding “Yes”, it’s not the thing for you and you probably won’t have the success you want.
‘I know if I did win the Lottery tomorrow and money wasn’t a concern, this would still be a part of my life. I’d still be working with prisons and setting things up there and doing the work that I do.’
What work do you do with prisons?
Fiona Harrold: ‘About three years ago, I got a letter from a chap in prison called Alan [see his story, ‘The Prisoner Who Became A Coach’] and he said, “I’ve read all your books and guess what? I’m actually coaching! I’m coaching all the prisoners in my wing and some of the officers. I’d love you to come and visit. It would be such a big deal for us all if you came.”
‘I went to his prison in Kent, Standford Hill and it was funny because obviously all the guys had been told I was coming so it was like a big deal. He was such a smart guy and he’d already set up a meeting up with the then Head of Learning and Skills Sharon Barrett – she’s now the Head of Reducing Re-Offending at Sheppey Cluster. She said, “We’ve seen what this guy’s done and it’s really good. He’s straightening people out, he’s getting them clear in their heads and also getting them clear on what the heck they’re going to do when they leave this place so that they don’t return. Do you think you could do something like that?”
I said, “I think I could.”
‘My plan was to teach Prison Officers coaching skills. I just felt that would be of far more benefit in terms of changing the culture inside prisons.
‘We’ve just finished the first pilot involving three prisons in Kent over a three month period. We trained 20 Prison Officers really thoroughly in coaching skills and it’s been an incredible success. The prisons are crazy about it – they want us to continue. They’ve paid for it. We’ve been approached by other prisons and prison authorities that have heard about the work that we’ve done. I’m really excited about that.
‘You have to have that passion within you for the work and I think that is going to show in the work you do and in your whole approach.
‘Do some sort of pro bono work. It helps keep your motivation very clear. It doesn’t do to do this work for money if that’s your primary measure. It really doesn’t. It won’t make you a great coach.
‘I think it’s better if you’ve got other income streams as well otherwise it puts too much pressure on you. It’s not like a lot of jobs where you could do it for eight hours a day. I have a very small private practice because I want to give people real quality time and attention. I’m walking around with those people at the back of my mind most of the time: I see something in a newspaper and I think, “I’ll send that to so-and-so.” To give a quality service, you don’t want to be coaching too many people.
‘I’ve got different income streams: I’ve got my books out there*, I have a business and a busy website so my income is not dependent on me sitting here coaching individuals day after day. I think that’s too much of a strain to put on oneself.’
What else do you do? Do you write every day?
Fiona Harrold: ‘I don’t want to do another motivational book right now. I don’t want to repeat myself so I’m actually writing a novel set in Northern Ireland in the Seventies. The website is very busy. I do workshops. I have different workshops: ‘Purpose, Passion and Destiny’ is a new one that I’ve put together and that’s proving fantastically popular. We have all the online courses on the website that sell very well. We do an online newsletter every week.’
Have you found it a different experience writing a fictional book?
Fiona Harrold: ‘It’s a completely different discipline. I have had to become very humble. I have a mentor who is a published novelist and I listen to what she tells me and answer her questions and justify things and have her take a red pen to my stuff and scribble all over it. It’s like going back to school.’
Have you enjoyed it?
Fiona Harrold: ‘Absolutely. You know as a coach, you have to keep your own life interesting. You cannot allow yourself to get into a rut. You cannot let yourself off the hook. If there’s something that you think you really want to do, you really have to do it. It’s the most transparent profession in the world: if you’re not walking your talk, then you’re not as switched on or as enthusiastic as people need you to be. People are coming to you for your spark. You have to be sparky; you have to be living right on the edge of your potential because that’s what they are coming to you for. People come to you for inspiration, guidance, and confidence. They’re going to look at your life and if you’re not brimming over with confidence and enthusiasm and taking risks every now and then, you’re probably not in the best place to be coaching other people to be doing the same. You have to challenge yourself.
‘Something else I like to do is renovate flats and sell them. I like to walk into a place, look at its potential and think, “Okay, that’s what I’m going to do to this place”, then do it up and make it look fabulous. You have to keep yourself fresh; you can’t get jaded as a coach.’
What else do you do that entails taking risks?
Fiona Harrold: ‘God, I think my whole bloody life is a risk! I turned down a very lucrative offer from my publishers for more motivational books to take a risk doing something completely different. I spent most of last year working on that book, turning away all sorts of secure streams of revenue, which would have stopped me focussing on this. I have no deal for this book. That’s a complete risk. There’s no guarantee that a publisher’s going to snap it up whatsoever.
‘I let my son leave school at 16 because he hated it and he’d just won the ‘Young Photographer of the Year’ competition so that’s showing faith in him, in life, in him following his passion. So I don’t think I cling on to typical security in any way, in fact at all.’
Are you able to say what your net worth is?
Fiona Harrold: ‘Oh God, definitely not. I’m probably not the phenomenally wealthy person that people assume I am. Making money has never been high on my agenda. Doing what I wanted to do has been my focus and my priority. It’s only recently – and maybe it’s an age thing – that I’ve become more business-like. “Right, I need to get some more money around me so I can choose actually just to write maybe for six months.”
‘I have to work for my livelihood and I want to get into a position where I have more freedom in that matter so if I do want to take six months off and write, I can do that. Last year, I worked very little and took much of the year off but this year, oh my God, I have to work overtime to pay my tax bill! It would be terribly nice not to be in that situation so that has focussed my mind. I’ve found that I can make money quite quickly and quite easily doing up property and selling it. Making money has never been a huge priority but it’s more of one now because it will buy me some freedom.’
It seems to have happened quite often in your life that someone else has approached you with an idea: with the Self-Esteem Consultant, the publishers, and the man in prison.
Fiona Harrold: ‘Always. Right place, right time, and right motivation. The clearer you are with what you’re doing, the easier life is. Everything you need comes to you. Life will be less of a struggle. You’ll not be pushing against doors but people will open that door or people will come to you and knock on that door. That’s certainly been my experience.’
How many clients do you have?
Fiona Harrold: ‘I wouldn’t do any more than 10 people a week. I charge £1,000 a month, which I think, is an average executive coach rate.
How often are your clients in contact with you?
Fiona Harrold: ‘Once a week so it works out to be £250 an hour. I give a very generous, comprehensive service. I take people on for a minimum of three months. I have clients all over the world so the vast majority call in and we don’t see each other face-to-face.
‘If you’re going to offer a service like that, you can’t do heaps of people – life would just be overwhelming. For me to offer a service like that I wouldn’t want any more than 10 clients a week.’
Do you have a coach?
Fiona Harrold: ‘No. I have one or two advisors in my life and I sometimes grab one of my coaches and say, “Listen, I just have to talk through something with you. Can I book you for 40 minutes” and that would be any of the coaches that you see on my website who are all absolutely brilliant.’
What sort of advisors do you have?
Fiona Harrold: ‘I have a mentor for my book and I use my brother a lot. He’s an awfully smart person and I’m very lucky to have him in my life. He’s a big inspiration for me. One of the things he’s done recently to keep himself amused is adopt an entire village in Africa, given them a clean water supply and helped them become self-sufficient by growing vegetables.’
Besides your father and your brother, who else do you regard as an inspiration?
Fiona Harrold: ‘My family as a whole. I come from this Irish tradition of missionaries and giving and taking care of people. One side of my family is all nuns and priests and I have a wonderful uncle, my father’s brother, who dedicated most of his life to working in Africa, the southern states of America and helping the underprivileged.’
What about your mother? Was she interested in personal development?
Fiona Harrold: ‘Not in such an overt way. Certainly, she was probably much more of a risk-taker than my Dad. I didn’t appreciate that at the time because I was so much of a Daddy’s girl but actually, looking back now, I think probably my Mum was much pushier and much more of a risk-taker than my Dad. When she was in her sixties for example, she retrained in reflexology and came over to London and set up her own reflexology practice.’
Who among your contemporaries do you regard as inspirational?
Fiona Harrold: ‘People who do something sensational that makes a difference to other people’s lives inspire me. I find Camila Batmanghelidjh [founder of the charity Kids Company] extremely inspiring. I definitely applaud Tony Robbins for what he’s done. I like people like Neale Donald Walsch, who wrote the Conversations with God series. I think Dr Caroline Myss [author and medical intuitive] is fabulous. You can’t ignore Louise L. Hay for her contribution – fabulous. Paul McKenna’s doing a terrific job – he’s very focussed, very driven, very out there.’
Is there anything that you’re fearful of?
Fiona Harrold: ‘Nothing whatsoever. Not a thing.’
Really?
Fiona Harrold: ‘I don’t want to give the impression that I’ve never experienced fear because that is simply not human. When we start to move out of our comfort zones, it’s scary. When you reach for something that’s important to you, that’s scary as well.
‘One of the most difficult things I’ve done recently is to begin to write in an entirely different genre. It has been pretty scary and it has taken me much longer than I ever thought it would take and I’ve had weeks where I’ve ignored it and my self-belief has deserted me and then I’ve literally had to drag myself back to the table so I do know what it’s like when one has to challenge oneself and step out of what one is comfortable doing.
‘I also think that my early life in Northern Ireland probably played a part in shaping my perspective as to what is worth worrying about and what is important. I was obviously growing up in the thick of The Troubles.
‘At 12, I was going on civil rights marches with my older brother and we were put out of our house at around the same time as were about another 50 Catholic families in the neighbourhood. We left with what we could pack overnight as did the other families. People were burnt out of their houses. We literally had to go out and find an empty house to live in. Not many 12 year olds go house hunting with their Dad who happens to be carrying a crowbar. We had to break into an empty house to live in. We squatted, along with the other homeless families, in a new housing estate until the council gave us a new house. So I may have a different experience to a great many people. I think that really does shape your perspective on things. I found it all incredibly exhilarating at the time although I’m not sure that was how my parents felt about it! However, things got worse when people I knew were killed, people I went to school were pulled into things and ended up in prison. When you live in that sort of continual drama, when people you know are killed or jailed, it shapes your perspective about what is stressful and what is worth worrying about.
‘I remember making a decision really early on that I would leave and never return. I think my drive and self-reliance – or confidence – kicked in then. I plotted my escape, followed my plan and left at 21 after university and I didn’t return until last year, 25 years later.
‘I think it’s given me an incredible gratitude for the comfort and ease that I experience in my life now. I have a great appreciation for everyday life just as it is. I’m not outrageously ambitious in the way that people probably think that I am because I do genuinely appreciate my life the way it is.
‘A lot of people fear not having money but I’ve already experienced that from the time when I was living in a squat and it was actually one of my happiest times. My security comes from knowing that I can turn my skills and abilities into money so I don’t try to hang onto money in a way that many people do in the name of security.
Your early political beliefs are still very much part of your motivation, aren’t they?
Fiona Harrold: ‘I think I’m much more humanitarian now. I suppose I do have that approach to life. I feel more plugged into the bigger picture than some people might be.
‘I’m not riding on a political ticket even though I did stand for the Green Party in 2005. That was a very scary thing to do: going to hustings in a hall with 500 or 600 people, sharing a platform with seasoned campaigners. That was definitely me being way out of my comfort zone.’
You’ve been a Parliamentary candidate, a newspaper columnist, a massage therapist, a public relations consultant, a writer, a life coach and a property developer… What’s next?
Fiona Harrold: ‘What I’d like to do next is extend the coaching work throughout the country to every prison. I want to help transform our re-offending rates in this country.’
Do you have the educational authorities or big business support for this?
Fiona Harrold: ‘No. My plan is to start generating and attracting that sort of support. We’ve done the evaluation and we’re getting that out to all the prison authorities. That’s my big plan – to get that out and make a difference there.
‘I also want to give myself space and time to write more and I want to write more fiction. That’s my big plan.
FURTHER INFORMATION
*Fiona Harrold’s Life Coaching books are: Be Your Own Life Coach (Hodder Mobius, 2000); The 7 Rules of Success (Hodder Mobius, 2006); The 10-Minute Life Coach (Hodder Mobius, 2002); Reinvent Yourself (Piatkus Books, 2004); Indestructible Self-belief (Piatkus Books, 2005).
To discover more about Fiona Harrold, please visit her website at: www.fionaharrold.com.
Photographs courtesy of Sam Scott-Hunter. Visit www.samscotthunter.co.uk.
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